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Monday, 24 August 2009


Oh... I got you covered in the cute boy stuff, no worries there! Alex's caseworker was out on Thursday and she made a comment that I was seriously out numbered 3 to 1... and needed a girl to even things out (took it as a good sign, but she's not X's case worker... so I still don't count my little chick as mine until HIS case worker says something). I told her I needed a bit of time for these two to get a little older... and a bigger house before we added a princess to the mix!

I'm itching to buy girlie stuff... and I'm ready for a trip... but it won't be for a while. You guys will want plenty of time to adjust, and you will have so many visitors headed your way. I will ogle from afar!

Y'know it's funny, but I think your blog, along with grrl's, have been one of the few where I've been as concerned for the birth family as I have been for my friends. Not that I don't normally give them a passing thought, it's just that I so want this work out for you, and them too. Such a joyous and sad occasion.

Can't wait to take that new profile pic and sooooo many more! I am glued to this spot, and thinking of you and the mister and all peeps foodnetwork! I think girl too...

Still thinking about you and hoping that things continue to move along. Hugs to you.

Hi, Millie:

Just wanted to assure you that I continue to stalk, um, follow what is going on here.

I do hope it all goes smoothly . . . sounds like you are making every effort to promote that result.



Hey lady,

Still waiting with bated breath, hoping like hell that this all goes smoothly. Going to say this in two parts since TypePad is limiting my comment length. (What is that with Typepad?)

Also, I do find your consultant's approach interesting and as much of a fan of open, respectful, balanced adoption as I am, I would never have agreed to a time of co-parenting. Though we saw J during the time of ICPC when we were staying in DE, I couldn't imagine the internal conflict and feelings of being evaluated, I guess, that would come up in me with a transitional co-parenting phase.

Not having been pregnant or even knowing whether the adoption plan was going to proceed, when Z was placed in my arms at the entrustment ceremony, it was like, WOW. I've got to get my headspace around this precious little girl right here and now. Those first few days/weeks were about learning her and doing a lot of self-talk to tell myself that this was really happening. This peanut was my daughter. I wouldn't have wanted the presence of her firstfamily to delay this time alone that I *absolutely needed* (unless they felt strongly that it would be helpful for them, and J did not. She just wanted to see us together as a family to feel good about her decision.)

It may sound a bit selfish (and I know how APs get labeled with the S word all the time), but I think that time alone, unwatched, just you and the peanut with all the confusion, love, impostor-feelings and assorted good and bad stuff that comes up is really necessary. So as your friend, and as a person who loves you dearly, I will say to make sure that you assess what you need in this scenario as well. Everyone knows that your ethics are higher than most and your heart and ability to caretake for those around you is limitless...but sometimes I see you putting the needs of others before your own valid needs...just sometimes. So I want to make sure that YOU take care of your needs in this situation. It's not selfishness where you're concerned. It's just self-protection.

I am so hoping that this works out for you, your AdoringHusband and the expectant parents & their families.

OK, no need for part two as it finally behaved when I signed into Typepad and posted. Phew!

Donor is just as closed. The law says that donation is anonymous, with one exception for egg donation (for the pragmatic reason that often sisters donate for each other and they want to keep allowing this). This is a fairly recent law too. Unbelievable.

I rarely use butter in my banana bread, I use (vegetable) margarine. I once put in some leftover walnuts (ground) and that was delicious. Another yummy variation is putting in a layer of frozen berries. I've tried cocoa powder, but that made the banana bread too dry to my liking, besides I didn't find the chocolate added any goodness to the taste of regular banana bread.

Waiting for an overdue baby! How excruciating for all involved. I'm glad you've found some fun pastimes.

I can't tell you how much I am learning from your blog, both from your posts and from your commenters. Absolutely FACINATING!
Still holding my breath over here and hoping that everything works out.

OK Girlfriend, I can't wait to rub it in - back 'at cha' - when you're (happily) bleary eyed, sleep deprived, tired yada, yada... Waiting on pins and needles to meet my new niece (or nephew?).

xo, Francine

I love to read thoughtful, compassionate blogs like yours. I wish everyone did.

So many things to think about -- and soon everything will change. Thinking of you, and so excited . . .

Hmm...no post today...

...I'm just sayin'.

Just thinking of you. And hoping for only good things.

just sitting here thinking that birth mom is now 2 weeks overdue. not that i'm counting or anything. so hoping you are headed lone star way soon.

Arrrgh, no news!

(((((Millie, Mister, Ms. Food & her seriously overdue bump))))

Wow, I'm years behind on my blogs and look what happens!

I agree with some of the others - you've written amazingly about this entire process and the perspective you've given everyone is different to what else is out there.

I'm ever so happy for you, and hope that a trip to the Lonestar state is in your (very) near future.

sitting here twiddling my thumbs. Hang in there.

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