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Monday, 26 May 2008


I say let the gal have drugs if she wants them! I was very young when I had Matt and was absolutely terrified of birth, and even more so when labor started. Her situation is so much harder so why not let her be as comfortable as she can be given a human is about to leave her body? Momma needs to let her make this decision, too.

i was never too big on writing the birthing plan. seriously - if you've never given birth before, how do you know how you are going to handle the pain, the anxiety, the waiting? you have no idea if this baby is going to take 24 hours to get here, or pop himself out in 20 minutes. so i never wrote a birthing plan. when i got to the hospital and the nurse asked me if i had one, i just said that i planned on doing the best that i could, i was considering drugs if i needed them, and that i would evaluate all my options as they came up.

that doesn't mean you can't have some thoughts and ideas of how you *think* you may want to handle labor. and you should definitley research your options ahead of time. know the pros and cons of epidurals, pitocin, etc. then as the labor progressess, you can make the necessary decisions. you'll know lots of ways to help deal with labor, and you can decide which method to chose based on how you are feeling at the time.

i remember thinking i really didn't want to use pitocin. but then the doctor telling me the baby was in distress and they wanted to speed up labor to avoid a c-section. all of a sudden pitocin sounded like a grand idea. and i had this idea that i wanted to try to spend a lot of my labor rocking in a rocking chair. one contraction in that rocking chair and i couldn't wait for it to be over and i could get the h*()*#$ out of that chair! so much for plans!

anyway - not sure why i'm waxing poetic about birthing plans, especially since you personally don't need to write one. but i guess i just feel that birthing plans are overrated.

~daisy mae

I have been reading for a while now, but hardly ever comment. I just wanted to say that 16 months ago we adopted a baby boy, he is the best thing in our lives, the joy he brings everyday continues to amaze me. We have an open adoption & have lots of contact with his birth mum and her family, so I have my fingers crossed for you guys.

I'm so happy for you...

Do tell about the *tasteless baby clothes*... That has me seriously intrigued!

Ah, thrilled to read an update!

I think it is great she is asking those questions. If I were in her shoes, those are the kinds of things I would want to know about as well.

LOL at her mom's attitude about child-birthing. My mom is the same way since she delivered me without drugs, always telling me the benefits of natural childbirth (hmm, guess I'll never know!)

Keep us posted!!! xoxoxox

PS and do tell about the baby clothes and your mom. Actually tell us about your parents' reactions to this maybe-baby! It sounds like you've told your mom. What about the mister's family??

Oh boy, you so totally need to stop your Mom with the tasteless baby clothes. Anyone who has to wrestle a baby to get them dressed, deserves to have them look really freakin' cute once they are all done up. Go with what you love. Save the tasteless stuff for visits to your mother's house. :)

So great to know that you guys are still in the running.

You're supposed to write about your childhood??? How do you do that without writing a novel?? How did you edit it down???

Sorry, too many ???s

Still very excited.

I agree with Thalia -- how can you *not* write a novel in response? Those are great questions, though!

GOOD for NPL for taking the search so heart. It is lovely to see. I found that the novels that I wrote in preparation for our adoption were a very good way to open a dialogue with Tim about our childhoods, the way we were raised, and our parenting expectations. The more prepared you are the better.


You and "the man" are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you are selected. Also "T" and I MAY be moving back to your "hood" and there's a story there... Finally, not sure if this will help your case or not, but if would help to show tangible evidence of mixed family diversity at play in our community, "T" and I are happy to help and of course "S" who hopes to have a new playmate to visit at Chez Millie.

xox, Franine

I wouldn't be able to write a novella about my childhood. My memory is so bad, I hardly remember anything from high school. Come to think of it, my college years are vague too.

The good news is, this whole infertility thing will probably fade sooner rather then later too!

NPL needs a duala. Or however that's spelled. Would it be tacky for you to volunteer?

Wow. DE has got to work for us, because if an adoptive mother were to ask us those questions, I don't think we'd do so good. We've dealt with our crap, but somehow, explaining some of what I went through and saying 'but don't worry, I did therapy, and I'm over it' would fly. It just wouldn't. And that would probably send me back into therapy all over again.

She should pick you. She really should. I hope she reads this blog. NPL, if you're out there, Millie is cool. She'd be an awesome Mom. Pick her. Really.

Finger crossed for you, as always.

Oh Millie!

This is so exciting. I'm really glad to read this update. I hope and pray that NPL picks you two. I'm on pins and needles and not even an extra large cupcake or a dozen donuts can make it less stressful for your pack. I'm thinking of you!


Thanks for this post. As someone who is so nervous about the whole adoption process, this was a very helpful post.

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