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Sunday, 13 May 2007


Oh my friend...I am thinking of you...next year...please please please....

Sounds like you passed the hard time in a lovely way. Making a good day out of what the day could be is good if you can do it. I am sorry this cycle has been extended. So damn frustrating. Hugs to you and the sweet husband.

I always thought there was a huge overlap between the childless by choice camp and us. Weird, considering we are both on completely opposite spectrums of the scale, but they have the same problems as IFers.

IFers don't want to hear about how brilliant and advanced your child is, nor do we went to be hassled by your child as it runs around a restaurant or shop unsupervised. IFers don't want to hear, "So when are you going to have children?" one more time. Childless by choice people go through the same thing.

I think the way you're handling it is a great idea. I know it's painful for you, but hell...those are enviable things for anyone to hear about. I do hope that soon you no longer have to hatch such plans though.

Oh, that's good. Don't forget the sleeping in late stuff either. And do NOT help the BIL take care of the kids, no matter how guilty you feel.

That sounds fair. Especially since people do so love to point out how great your life is without kids when you're trying to discuss your infertility. Right back at them.

Sounds like you had a pretty good day.


I LOOVe that strategy. Brilliant. Pays them back for all the times you've heard "want kids? have mine!"

I would also mention the saving of money...kids just suck it out of you.....FOREVER it seems!!! The nice car, the expensive clothes, long, lazy days having S_E_X without interruptions.....those go by the wayside when kids come.....this is not new news but that usually shuts 'em up!

Hmmm . . . I like it. I usually just resent that my evil (as opposed to the nice one) SIL who thinks we live this "fun" life. Maybe I'll try rubbing it in instead! (Even if I have to make it up!)

I love it.

I love your plan. Love it. And don't help with the kids - just because you want children does not and should not mean that you want THEIR children.

Like the plan. Mention what great sleep you have. Something along the lines of: "...I am a fantastic sleeper anyway, a solid 8 hours straight, unless of course we are up (fill in the blank here as you like,) but last night I had the most refreshing night of sleep I've had in a couple weeks. Mmmmmmhmmmm, I just love me some good zzzzz's. Orange juice anyone?"

Feel certain that you have filled every parent in earshot with a deep sense of gnawing despair. Drink juice. Smile.

And save up the feeling so when your wee one is waking you up 4x a night you'll have a little momentum to get through it.

It IS a good idea - I used to do this - be wary of the supermom though (I've even known a former infertile that would do this) with her "oh, I wouldn't WANT to sleep in when my 12 precious babies are awake!", "I could NEVER leave my satan spawn to go to another country!", "I LOVE spending 4 hours getting the child to sleep". They're tough. Ok, nauseating.

too true, but even over-the-top- supermom will have to hash out her lamentations at least in private. It ought to 'work' on her to some extent.
it's rotten to have to prepare onesself with such armour to survive...don't let it consume you. keep it real too, otherwise they'll feel your pain.
love to hear about how it goes. I'd never be able to keep a straight face.

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