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Wednesday, 24 January 2007


This is the first time I've come across your blog. You remind me of the way I sound. Although our situations are vastly different we both seem to struggle with "keeping at it" when all we want to do is throw in the towel.

But something inside us won't let us let go of the damn towel. And that's when something happens... maybe it's not what we're looking for, but maybe it'll do. For now.

I posted to my blog today and maybe it's something you might like to read. Just follow the url, and, if not, I simply urge you not to give up. It is when things are at their worst that not quitting matters the most.

Sometimes I guess it's just nice to know we aren't alone in our existential suffering. Anyway... cheers.

I hope the cupcakes help.
I wish there was something I could say to make the shittiness of it all go away. Thinking of you, and I hope it gets better...soon.

I'm sorry, Millie. I still can't look at the photos of our embryos, even the ones from the second cycle that gave us the boys.

B-ball season is good for yelling at the TV. Know that I'll be yelling right along with you and for you.

I'm sorry, Millie. I still can't look at the photos of our embryos, even the ones from the second cycle that gave us the boys.

B-ball season is good for yelling at the TV. Know that I'll be yelling right along with you and for you.

Sometimes I wonder if I take out the infertility, would I still be able to relate to the many women I connect to now. Is it the only common thread?

I kept the picture of our first embryos. I threw away the 2nd.

Oh, Millie, I am so sorry that you're feeling so low. The whacked-out thyroid can increase the feelings of apathy and "stuckness"--it certainly does for me--and I hope an adjustment of the dosage helps to some extent. I'll be thinking of you and rooting for your boys in blue. And also for the exciting new project.


I'm sorry--for the blahs, for the unbidden mementos, for the crappy thyroid.

I hope the cupcakes help. Can't hurt, right?

Hang in there, my friend. Don't give up yet, I got all kinds of parts crossed that things are going to work for you, some way, some how.

And how about some choc cupcakes with cream cheese frosting? And have 3 for me.

Not sure what to say for fear of a**vice, but I'm sorry its so hard, and I'm sorry its another year and you are still waiting to be a mother. I've been at this IF thing for 9.5 years (4 years of primary, the rest secondary), and its a long, hard slog. Thinking of you.

Sorry that you are feeling horrible.
It is exhausting, so it's no wonder you are tired.
You may not have committed to any course of action, but you're not exactly doing nothing right now.
What's this about the indefinite postponement?

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Making cupcakes couldn't hurt...

I thought you had several irons in the fire, no? The donor embryos and adoption, etc.? I think perhaps it's just all so slow it feels like no progress at all.
I wish I was coming so I could listen to you tell me all this over a glass of wine...

Do let us know what you ended up cooking.

Oh, Millie, I know how you are feeling. I had the picture of my embryos in a bad I had taken to that town, and I still get sad every time I come across them. I should move it but I don't. I hope the cupcakes helped. I wish there was another way I could help.

Sorry to hear you sound so down. I am thinking of you! And definitely send me an email if you plan the ATL trip :-)

Not on the same level, but I was cleaning up my old text messages today from my cell phone. They went back to enthousiastic texts about follicle numbers and unproblematic retrieval and then on to messages after our zero embryo count. I deleted them all.

Millie, it's part of the friend code to keep hoping and believing what we long for will happen when we just can't anymore--until we can find our way back to it ourselves. In the meantime, cupcakes and steamed almond milk are good fortifiers. Take care.

I'm sorry that you are feeling crappy right now. I wish I could help. Just keep moving along with regard to adoption and you will have a baby soon. I'm finally accepting this myself. And I went with Mason and looked at your recommended Orbit. I'm still in love.

Love you, lady!

Wow. I didn't know about the "indefinite postponement." I'm sorry.

Cupcakes definitely help. Would posting pictures of your completed kitchen help? Because (hint, hint) I never got to see the fniished thing and I'm always up for some kitchen p*rn.

Sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope your team won.

The indefinite postponement sucks, I'm so sorry Millie.

I echo your feelings in just being sick and tired of this whole thing. I think that's why I've been relatively quiet these past couple of weeks as the days tick down to FET #3. I remember when I used to keep track of the days and count down to the transfer date! Not any more. I feel like this cycle has snuck up on me and suprised me with it being only four days away!

I hope you feel better soon, and that the cupcakes help. Photos, please? I love cupcakes!

I'll be thinking about you and hoping things get better soon.


Yeah. I hear ya.
I do like hearing about the cupcakes and marmalade classes though.

I just got done reading your entire blog/archives. I started reading it on Monday. Just wanted to let you know how much I have enjoyed your writing. I am just starting on this "lovely" ride of infertility and have learned a lot just from reading the many fine blogs from others out there. And Jan 24th can't be the worst day of the year, it's my b'day, UGH! I'm 39 this year and my clock wasn't just ticking the alarm was blaring away!!! Yours is the first blog I have ever commented on. I hope to read more and wish you all the luck in 2007!

i'm so sorry, millie. i wish i could write as well as the other women here, but all it would say is "i'm sorry" in much better words.

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