Class #2

I know, I know, it's very hard to believe I'm writing about something just after it happened. What's wrong with me?

Last night was adoption class number 2. The focus was on adoptive parents. Our regular leader was there and she was superb. I totally loved her. The mister loved her. Everyone in the room seemed to love her.

I asked the mister if he remembered what had us each so edgy from the first week. He didn't remember the specifics but did remember the feeling. There was none of that last night.

We had brief check-ins so the part of me that loves all things therapy was satisfied. We talked a bit. Then two sets of adoptive parents arrived along with their kids.

One of the things that was so great about last night was that these are very recent adoptions: one baby was born in September, one in June. So there were two adorable babies to unabashedly stare at. And it was comforting to hear the couples timelines and stories because they were so fresh.

Our leader told us adoption was often like a roller coaster: there were ups and downs but you didn't necessarily know if you'd gotten on the kiddie ride or the monster coaster until you were in the midst of it.

Each couple faced challenges in the process. One had a couple of matches that didn't work out and a couple of fraudulent contacts through an Internet site. The other had to deal with discriminatory laws in the deep South.  There stories were a bit different but they were both wonderfully touching. It seemed each one really found the match they were meant to have. Both kids were absolutely adorable--no FLKs in the room (which might reassure Liana a bit).

Best part of the night? The couple who brought their son home on Fathers' Day (and yes, that is the correct punctuation in this case) finished their paperwork about this time last year. The other couple started the process in February, completed their home study in June, and even with a couple of failed matches, brought their daughter home in September. All of that sounds really doable and that's my kind of math: seven months for one from the first seminar, seven months from the home study completion for the other. Seven is suddenly a damn fine looking number.

A couple of housekeeping items:

• The mister and I are currently doing this class as part of adoption preparation. It doesn't necessarily mean we're adopting just that we're pursuing whatever we can. We do have a bit of adoption coverage so we figure we can take the class, do our application and maybe even do a home study.

• We're still planning on a donor embryo fet early next year. There are a couple of hiccups that might push it back a bit. Or potentially bigger issues with this match. I'll try to cover before I leave next week.

• The Kid is a phenomenal book on open adoption written by Dan Savage. He and his partner Terry adopted the kid. So when I talk about calling the guys in our class Dan and Terry it's because they remind me of this book for a number of reasons. I highly recommend this book because it's a great story about adoption and Dan Savage is a funny funny man and great writer. It's a quick read. And a happy ending.
  

Comments

['Nilla @ Vanilla Dreams]

Your class sounds wonderful! I think it is amazing that you are doing all this research beforehand, and exploring all of your options.

I just hope that your next FET is successful, and that all you have done to this point is good info, but you won't really need it, if you know what I mean! ;)

You know, I was just thinking about this -- if your FET goes ahead in January, you and I might be, to use a cliched term, "cycle buddies"!! :-O

I still don't have my FET dates, so who knows what will end up happening, but I hope it works out for both of us. I'm anxious to hear what potential issues you might be having with your current FET plans -- I hope it is nothing serious.

Wishing you all the best,
Nilla

[Bonnie]

Dan and Terry weren't on TLC, were they? The names sound really familiar.

[thalia]

Sounds incredibly encouraging, Millie. Progress is always a good thing...

[erin]

Very encouraging! I am glad you are looking at all of your options.

I am entering the world of IUI's in January. We recently had a diagnosis of high FSH in October.

If you don't mind me asking, what organization are you going through with the adoption process?

[daisy mae]

just popping in to ask the duh question of the day?

what's FLK?

[JennaM]

You sound good (or "well" if you want to be a stickler). Very impressive given the year you've had. Seven sounds like a perfect number. Good luck!

xoxo
JennaM

[Smarshy]

Hi Millie,

I was wondering what FLK meant too.

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Unfortunately I land at SFO on Tuesday at around 6:30 pm, so we'll miss eachother. Maybe next time? I love that city, one of my favorites. Take care -

[roni]

Hey Millie - I haven't been commenting lately, but I've been following and I'm so happy to hear that adoption seems to be looking so good. I'm hoping that everything is ok with the embryo donation - sorry to hear that there are issues.

Don't you leave for your trip soon?

Just to answer those who are asking, FLK means "funny looking kids" :)
Roni

[T]

Ah, I'm glad Class #2 was good and less edgy! Do you have a facilitator or agency you're working with? I have a friend that knows of a great facilitator for domestic, if you don't.

[Liana]

Clearly your readers who are asking about FLKs don't read MY blog! :-)

Glad to hear that the class went well. I'm going to start working on my profile soon.

The de-stressing thing I've found with adoption is that at least I don't have to worry about MY body not cooperating in some way. The stuff that goes on seems very real world, I-can-get-my-hands-around-it, if you get my meaning.