Today is one of those days. Those not so good ones. I'm bopping along, planning a fun night out eating sushi with a girlfriend when I see I missed a message from another girlfriend.
She called last night while I was having a business meeting with CityBoss talking about consulting opportunties beginning in January.
Until last weekend, I hadn't talked to Amie for a few weeks. She saw the whole story about the Shopper and was hesitant to contact me. Because she was pregnant from her first ivf.
The mister and I were over the moon with happiness for Amie and her man. It has been a long hard road for them. We ALL deserve this and it was high time for them.
I hope y'all don't get the opinion that I can't be happy for my friends in the trenches who make it out. The thing with the Shopper was her insenstivity (and the fact that she lapped me). There are folks I can be ecstatic about, though some more than others. Most of you reading are probably on that list.
I figure I get to have my own list and rank it however I want. I think it's actually a fairly long list, all things considered. Like any good project manager it's nicely color-coded and there are many tabs: wedding land friends, high fsh support friends, local friends, blog friends, etc.
Amie was high up there on her tab. And my heart is breaking for her today. The message was that she'd lost the pregnancy and had to have a d&c today. It's never easy to lose a pregnancy but it seems particularly cruel to have this happen just before the holidays, just after seeing a heartbeat, just when you think you might someday be able to trust that this could all work out.
So I'm crying for Amie and her man. And all of us that have had losses this year. Let's just get this year over because next year has got to be better. Seriously.
I'm so sorry for your friend.
Posted by: daysgoby | Tuesday, 21 November 2006 at 16:10
Please, Millie, tell your friend that we are so sorry to hear of her loss. She will be in my thoughts.
Posted by: DD | Tuesday, 21 November 2006 at 16:40
Life is unfair. I got the chills as I read your post. I will be thinking of her.
Posted by: Josie | Tuesday, 21 November 2006 at 21:12
I'm sorry for your friend. It always is particularly hard to lose a baby, but particularly after you've seen the heartbeat and think just maybe you can relax.
Posted by: Bonnie | Wednesday, 22 November 2006 at 01:19
What a sad story. I wish I could join you in your wish for 2007, and of course I'm wishing with all my might, but to be honest that's what I wished for 2006 and look what happened...
Posted by: thalia | Wednesday, 22 November 2006 at 03:11
I'm very sorry for your friend's loss -- it gave me chills reading your post -- it was exactly one year ago today (November 21st) that we had the ultrasound which showed the heartbeats had stopped. So, the circumstances sound eerily familiar. :(
What you said stated it all so perfectly: "It's never easy to lose a pregnancy but it seems particularly cruel to have this happen just before the holidays, just after seeing a heartbeat, just when you think you might someday be able to trust that this could all work out."
That's EXACTLY one of the myriad of thoughts that ran through my head one year ago today.
Please give my condolences to your dear friend.
Posted by: 'Nilla @ Vanilla Dreams | Wednesday, 22 November 2006 at 05:59
Please send my condolences to her. That is so horrible.
I could just cry at how crappy this year has been for so many in the trenches. It has to be better next year, right? Right? God, I hope so.
Posted by: Heather | Wednesday, 22 November 2006 at 06:52
what a heartbreak. I am so sorry for your friend.
Posted by: Louise | Wednesday, 22 November 2006 at 07:33
i'm so sorry for your friend. and for all the pain that has happened to you and too many others this year.
Posted by: rosie | Wednesday, 22 November 2006 at 10:39
I am so sorry for your friends horrible loss. My heart breaks for her & her man.
I found you by googling "low beta, ectopic, IVF" or something like that. I just read thru some of your archives and am truly frightened. (not of you, for me...) LOL.
I did a donor emrbyo cycle. today at 30dp3dt, my beta is slowly rising & reached 2080, but nothing seen on a very good, done by an excellent peri, ultrasound.
I have had 2 ectopics before. I know the signs, hopefully.
anyway, I am just sorry you were in these horrible shoes only a few months ago. Because this sure doesn't seem fair.
Posted by: Amber | Wednesday, 29 November 2006 at 14:46
Hi Millie- just checking in on you...Have you departed for the Far East already?!
Posted by: Louise | Thursday, 30 November 2006 at 11:44