just a quickie before bed

I'm exhausted from my day but thought I'd chime in with a short update.

The conference was great. Seriously great. The best keynote EVER for this particular conference. The different tracks were interesting. The mister and I got some helpful info. We met a few cool people. Best part of the day: we got excited about some of our options, especially if our path includes domestic adoption.

I want to write in more detail about some of what we learned and some of my thoughts. But for tonight I'd thought I'd toss out just a few observations.

• No one should have Baby on Board placards on their cars in the parking lot. What the fuck, people? And, yeah, we counted them on at least 4 cars and one had TWO. Oh my infertile brothers and sisters, how quickly have you forgotten?

• If there are gay couples in an adoption breakout, it would be nice if the presenters recognized that they aren't dealing with the same kind of issues. They aren't coming at this from the same point of pain and infertility. Read The Kid by Dan Savage. Hell, offer it for sale on the book table.

• If you're going to have only one parent on the third party reproductive tract, you might want to include someone who actually has children from donor gametes or surrogacy. Not to split hairs, because I loved the woman on the panel (and no, it wasn't me you silly readers) but I think it freaked out a lot of attendees to find that she'd had several failed DE cycles and built her family by adoption. Is there seriously not a single woman or man in the entire bay area who'd step up and join the panel?
  

• There should never ever ever NEVER be a pregnant woman at an infertility conference. Does this really need to be said? I mean. Seriously. What. The Fuck. I don't care if she works for a clinic. I don't care if she's on the board. I just don't give a shit. She seemed like a nice person and I never found out why she was there but she shouldn't have been there. Again, NO PREGNANT WOMEN AT INFERTILITY CONFERENCES.

I'll write more about the specifics over the next few days. But we really did have a good day. We're both very glad we went. We didn't even use our flask. We're going to bed happy and hopeful. And that's a good thing.

Comments

[Jen]

so glad you had a good time and learnt plenty, can't wait to hear the details good and bad.

[Sparkle]

How interesting. Can't wait to hear more.

Ugh, I also hate those BOB stick-on things - why not just put 'I'm a moron'?

['Nilla @ Vanilla Dreams]

Oh Millie, I'm so glad to hear it went well! I can't wait to hear more details, it sounds very, very interesting!

I can't agree with you more on the whole "BOB" signs, and pregnant women at IF conferences (or even IF clinics, for that matter). Ugh!!!

Anyway, look forward to hearing more about it all! :)

Nilla

[thalia]

I don't think I've ever seen you type about domestic adoption with so much enthusiasm before, that's great! I'm looking forward to hearing all about it.

Perhaps they need to install body scanners at Resolve conferences. Anyone with a baby on board is denied entry...

[Suz]

I loved "The Kid" by Dan Savage. Loved it! Loved how they did the adoption and loved how it turned out. Glad that you're enjoying the conference.

[Bebe]

Heh, we had parents of donor gamete babies at our Resolve conference. Only problem was that they all brought their babies with them! Umm yeah, only thing worse than preggos at the Resolve conference is infertiles who forgot they were infertile cuddling their babies in front of you.

Tell us more Millie!

[rosie]

i cannot believe there was a pregnant woman there. just can't believe it.

good to hear it was a good day.

[PBfish]

I'm going to say that the "baby on board" signs are just so cheesy that no one should have them on their cars. But yeah, way to pour salt on that wound, people. blech.
Glad the rest of the conference went so well.

[Avonlea]

Funny, I get some much more excited to reading your plea for a quickie than I do my husband's...

I'm so excited that you're excited about options Millie. I can't wait to hear more.

When you're done yoodling, I think you should write a book on infertile etiquette (I can't spell).

[MichelleL]

Happy to hear the conference was a success for you. Domestic adoption . . . I am thrilled to hear you are interested in that direction.

We just got home from our ICPC wait with our new daughter. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about the process -- although I am not an expert, I have happily lived through an emergency placement and would be glad to share my specific experience.

Smiling here for you Millie.

[Fertile Soul]

I'm totally with you on the preggers at IF conferences. What's up with that? Poor woman. She was either totally clueless or incredibly uncomfortable.

Congratulations on the nuptials! You've now officially joined the minority of people. But, hey, being in the minority is the new cool.

[statia]

Ok, I bet she thought she was bringing hope, but christ, any bitter beat down infertile should know that an IF conference is no place for a pregnant woman.

[zhl]

Sounds like a good day. Can't wait to heaer more details.

[Louise]

Can't wait to hear more, more, more! :-)

[M]

Why should the pregnant woman put her life, and possibly career, on hold ? Because you're "sensitive"? For potential / eager parents , you lot sure are selfish.

[Betsy]

Silly silly - Please don't assume gay folks don't have infertility. In my case I acan attest to many years of painful struggle to have a baby - and no luck due to INFERTILITY! I would have to assume the gay people at the conference were infertile or why the F would they haul ass to the conference???

[Helen]

At the Zhai Clinic, they are dedicated to enhancing our chances of having a baby. They treat both men and women using traditional Chinese medicine. Whatever the cause of the infertility, they do very best to overcome it and helps us to achieve the
pregnancy.

http://www.zhaiclinic.co.uk

Specialising in reproductive medicine

Chinese medicine and endometriosis
TCM and recurrent miscarriage
TCM and male infertility