A girl could use some help...

Ok this whole resignation letter writing campaign isn't going as well as I'd like. Um, like it hasn't happened. I hate this sort of thing. I generally stick with jobs until they boot me out (which happens a lot in the high tech world) or I leave the state. Neither of those scenarios are looking terribly likely.

So, write my letter of resignation and I'll send a prize your way. I'm serious. I don't want to burn my bridges but ,good grief, this is making me crazy. Not to mention having NOOOO life.

Here are some things you can use or not use. Feel free to make up other stuff. There could be multiple prizes. Perhaps even Yodeling! schwag. They are heavy on the schwag thing around here.

Things to include or not as you see fit:

• mind numbling boring work
• zero challenge
• difficult political situation (too many responsibilities with nooooooo authority-reporting to two bosses and requiring one of them to submit deliverables to me)
• hella commute
• horrendous hours
• no usage of  corporate gym
• a trained monkey could do my job
• no more WFH (booooo hooooo)
• already bought a MINI tickets to Thailand, stainless steel railings, new mattress so don't need so much cash
• will begin medical treatment soon which will require  several appointments per week
• said medical treatment might also involve  international travel because you just never know
• don't give a shit about anything but above medical treatment
• (y'all know I won't have THAT many appointments but no one around here knows much about ART)

Thanks in advance for doing my dirty work for me!

Comments

[chris]

Just tell them the constant yoddling is driving you insane.

[K&M]

Dear employer,
Please accept this as my written resignation effective immediately.
Love,
Millie

(Actually, M wrote it...)

[Emily]

I'd keep it short and sweet -- no explanations are necessary..thanks for the lovely opportunity, blah, blah, I enjoyed being a part of such a dynamic team and what I have learned is invaluable, blah, blah, blah...I QUIT.

xo,

[Lady Hairshirt]

__________ 2006

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for the opportunity to work for___________. I have truly appreciated working with such great people. However, I have decided at this time to accept another position. The position begins on _______________. My last day will be ______________. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Sincerely,

[Sparkle]

How about:

Dear Cocksuckers, find another Hooplehead?

[Meri-ann]

I like Sparkles!

[Heather]

I came in to say:

Dear Jackass,
I Quit!

but I really like Sparkle's better so use that one!

[Donna]

I completely agree with the gang. No explanation is necessary or required, especially in writing. Good luck.

[Roni]

Hey Millie -
Sparkle takes the prize, as far as I'm concerned.

In the alternative, can you talk to one of your bosses face to face and just tell them that you need to move on due to personal circumstances/length of commute/other commitments coming up in the future, etc? That way you don't have to worry about getting caught up in what you need to say in writing (unless you are concerned that by doing it face to face you offer more information than you'd like). Regardless, th letter itself should really only need to say : "To Whom It May Concern: I hereby tender my resignation, effective x date. It has been a pleasure working for this [awful/crappy/fucked up/yodeling] company."

Roni

[Bea]

Agree with the above. I resigned recently. Turned in a short note saying I was resigning for personal reasons from such-and-such a date, thanks for everything, bye, signed me.

In person, I offered a more detailed explanation, but I only cited "me" reasons - my IVF, my husband's new job, my stress levels - and not "them" things - their management style and decisions which *for fuck's sake* - because I may want that contact again for the future.

Some of the above suggestions were funnier, though.

Bea

[statia]

Oh I could do a lot with that, but trust me, you'd probably never get another job again. I don't know that you want that.

['Nilla @ Vanilla Dreams]

Sparkles's letter was kick @ss!!! But I quit my job last fall after working there for four years, and I simply wrote something like this:

Dear (Manager's name)

Please accept this as my letter of resignation. My last day will be November ___, 2005.

Sincerely yours,

Nilla

And yes, in person I said a bit more, but I had alluded earlier that I was seriously considering giving my notice....due to things happening in the company. And if I burned my bridges, I don't really care, because they couldn't pay me enough to go back!!

Hope you post your resignation letter when it's all said and done! :) Good luck!!!

Nilla

[linda]

I'd keep it short and sweet...because you probably do want to use the job on future resumes. :)

You don't want anyone having a record of what went on. I am not sure if conractors have "exit interviews" at the purple palace, but you can always request one...and then spill your guts. Confidentially, of course.

[linda]

Rephrase: You probably don't want a written record of your gripes because they'll likely find a way to use it against you. Hopefully that was clearer. :)

[Deb]

Hi, This is probably the strangest thing I have ever done, I am very sick and stuck inside and have chronic pain and so on. I read on a few good eggs that you have a few extra lap tops. I would never ask for anything, never have anyways, but if you really do have an extra one, I am on disability, I have a live journal if you want to read but is there some way I could buy one from you at like 5 dollars a month till I have paid full price for it? I am 37 and been on disabilty my whole adult life therefore cannot get credit though I do have proof/reciepts of my rent being paid on time for many years that I could share. Anyways, sorry to just pop in, but getting out of bed is tremendously painful and I have always dreamed of having a lap top. If nothing more, at least thanks for reading. Deb