did you ever think that 50% of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class?

I had ambitious plans of posting many witty observations of my recent emergency room experiences.

That's not going to happen anytime soon, thanks to the lovely little pills I take every four hours. They do let me stay nice and fuzzy headed. I feel witty and charming, at least in my own head.

Instead I'll just pose a simple question: why do so many doctors not get ivf?

The youngish doc who treated me in the ER until a real doc (read ob gyn surgeon) could arrive kept talking about what day we IMPLANTED the embryo on and how pregnant was I. He was really lucky that he was the keeper of the morphine because I was nicer than I probably would have been. And the morphine kept me fuzzier and friendlier than I was actually feeling at the time.

I told him we TRANSFERRED the embryo on March 27. He continued to say IMPLANTED and I kept saying TRANSFERRED. I wish they'd implanted the stupid embryo. Then there wouldn't have been an ectopic.

He's a freaking DOCTOR. Don't they cover this stuff? I expect that kind of crap from civilians but, geesh, he should know better.

He did get quite an earful when he asked for details. I think he was a bit relieved because he was worried he was going to have to tell us we were having an ectopic pregnancy. He kept asking how far along I was in the pregnancy and I kept talking about doses of methotrexate.

And I recited every beta level I'd had over the last couple of months. He said I knew enough to be an OB/GYN. I told him that was an insult and I should at least be an RE.

He thought I was joking. I let him think that so I could have continued access to the morphine.

Comments

[PBfish]

Good lord. What a jackass.
Glad they're giving you the good drugs to get through this...

[Tonya]

Holy crap! What a first class bonehead! I can relate to feeling more informed than many of my medical providers.

I'm glad at least that this ectopic is over, and hope that the good drugs are plentiful.

[Brooklyn Girl]

So many doctors are such idiots, but I think IVF is a thing unto itself. The failure to understand the implant/transfer distinction makes me NUTS.

Hang in there.

[hangin'in]

Oh, I'm so sorry.... actually that DR. probably didn't cover all of that stuff in school..... everything is so specialized now! At least you have the fuzzy feeling going for you.

Thinking of you.

[Susan / HoldingPattern]

Dearest Millie, When you are feeling better, please convey the following to your physician:

Hey, BONEHEAD DOCTOR! That's right I'm talking to you. I demand that you turn in your medical license pronto. With your limited knowledge of female anatomy, I'll bet 10 bucks you don't even know what a clitoris is!

[jan1902]

Good Gosh - I'm surprised he didn't ask you when the egg was implanted. Guess he was on vacation during reproduction 101.
Hope you are on your way to feeling decent . . .

[statia]

DUDE!! I'm just now catching up from this week. Holy jesus what a week you've had. I'm so sorry Millie. It sounds like your decision was made for you about the tube though, which is probably both comforting and not.

p.s. mmmm morphine.

[Lisa]

When I was having my miscarriage I had to educate everyone in the hospital on the difference between an IUI and IVF. I'd had an IUI and they kept asking me how many embryos they'd implanted (yep, implanted)and when. Grrrr. I hope the good drugs keep you feeling fine while your poor body has a chance to heal. Take care of yourself.

[Milenka]

Damn doctors. They think they're so intelligent, don't they? Oy.

[Donna]

Oh ferchrissakes! Stupid doctors drive me crazy. I would have asked him which Bahamian island he received his diploma from. I hope you are feeling better soon.

[Lynnette]

Don't even get me started! The nurses, the hematologist, the mammagram tech...luckily, I educate, get what I need, and just move on! Hope you're feeling ok.

[Linda]

Oh geez. Thank goodness you were jacked up on morphine during this entire discussion with Dr. Imbecile.

Did you snag a few extra vials of morphine to share at the picnic? ;-)

[thalia]

Gotta love them ignorant doctors. You sure you're not off in hickville somewhere instead of the metropolis?

[Samara]

I'm sorry for idiotic doctors and not sure what to say about not having to schedule the surgery... I hope you're recovery is smooth and that the vicodin/morphine carrying doctors at least gave you a script with a refill or two... I think you've been through enough the last few months.

[Jenn]

I cannot believe you have to endure this. Remember, some doctors even graduate last in their class, as evidenced by this lovely posting I found when researching my own issues with progesterone and IVF: http://medhelp.org/forums/FamilyPractice/messages/47.html

[Liana]

God, you guys are harsh! No they don't teach IVF in medical school, so most of us who haven't been through it don't know that embryos are transferred and not implanted. Implanting embryos would make more logical sense, no?

So chill out a bit guys. We don't learn about IVF, cardiac catheterization, or how to perform colposcopy in medical school either. Those are learned when you go to specialize in that particular area.

Yeah, and I probably graduated in the lower half of my medical school class, so that probably makes me one of the "stupid docs." Ah well. I'll live.

Now you see why I had to leave medicine. Things are a lot less harsh and judging in industry.

Love, your friend, Teendolt! :-)

[Louise]

Aww, Millie! Hang in there!

[electriclady]

Oh Millie. What a week you've had. Hell, what a MONTH you've had.

It's not just IVF that some doctors are ignorant about. Recently, I happened to find myself looking at an educational magazine for teenagers--it had a "sexual health" supplement, with all kinds of info about menstrual cycles, etc. Well, the DOCTOR they interviewed for one article actually said that a woman's most fertile time is AFTER she ovulates--"You can get pregnant any time after ovulation until you get your period." I was picturing some poor teenager getting knocked up because she thought it was perfectly safe to have unprotected sex on day 13 of her cycle.

[coloratura]

This only confirms my theory about doctors. Especially the GPs. Holy cripes. So sorry you had to endure that. And especially, so sorry to hear about the latest fun you've been having... geesh, I hope you get to a better place soon. Hang in there...

[Ornery]

Oh god, I hope your doc wasn't my friend who works at an East Bay ER. If it is, I swear to you he graduated in the upper 50% and passed all his boards.

Even with the fuzzy head, you are as witty and charming as always. Hope you feel better soon!

[moo]

I had to laugh when I caught that title. My husband says that ALL THE TIME. I can totally relate. I'm sorry though that you had to deal with that.