i get knocked down, but i get up again

Well, here I was expecting to be all Chatty Kathy and planned to tell y'all all about my first day of work. The purple lanyards. The purple furntitue. The yodeling (they reallly make you yodel first thing during orientation--thank goodness I'm a contractor).

Here's where the story takes a turn.

Yes my day started with yodeling but it ended in the ER.

I'm so grateful (incredily undying grateful) that Susan/Holding Pattern told me one of the symptoms for her second ectopic was feeling constipated. That's what I felt. It started off with discomfort and over the coure of the day it got quite painful. So I told the mister we should hightail it to the ER (after taking care of the dogs more apporpriately this time).

We're now old hands at this. Even though my beta was down to a very respectable 75 the ectopic had ruptured. Much of that was clotted but there was a  fair amount of blood in my abdomen. Which was responsible for the pain.

I'll be back later when I'm not on so much vicodin, or just feeling a bit chattier.

Surgery was performed about 2 am my time. Morphine is my bff. Vicodin is a very close second. I'm fine. All went well. Now we don't have to schedule that pesky tube removal surgery 'cuz it's all gone.

I thought I was completely over the hump. I thought we were totally done with this ectopic. Now we finally are and the surgery was strangely reassuring and comforting.

Off to watch bad tv and bad movies.

Comments

[Suz]

Oh Millie! That's so, so scary. I'm glad that you're doing as well as you can be.

[Jan1902]

Oh my gosh M I am SO SO SO glad and relieved that you are OK!!!!! How smart of you to get to the ER so fast. Sending many many healing thoughts your way . . . .

[mm]

Holy shit! How's that for a scary first day of work?! So glad you're ok and that the surgery is out of the way. Enjoy the bad tv!!

[Red Headed Momma]

I guess that's one benefit of expecting the worst! You got yourself to the ER and didn't fuck around!

Ok, attention universe, Millie has had enough of being kicked around! Please move on to another target!!!

[Lynnette]

Good God, woman! I can't believe you're still dealing with this in such a traumatic way. Can't you sue somebody or something? Please get better, take lots of yummy drugs, and I send a big hug from the dark continent. Jeez-aloo...Congrats on the job, BTW. Yodeling? Sounds like they took a page from Wal-Mart or something. (look it up)

[PBfish]

Oh no. God. That sucks. I can't believe that you have had to go through all of this. I'm so glad that you went to the emergency room.

I continue to be incredibly impressed by your strength.

[Julianna]

I cannot believe this! Unbelievable. Really. It's enough already. Hang in there sweetie. Wishing you a speedy recovery and thinking of you and your husband. Take care.

[Bonnie]

Holy crap! I'm so glad you are ok.

It really helped put things in perspective for me. I was feeling sorry for myself that my OB's office called me on my birthday to tell me I failed my 1 hour GTT and would have to have further testing to determine whether I have gestational diabetes.And here you are,my left coast friend, dealing with real life and death things. Sheesh...!

[Brooklyn Girl]

I'm so sorry. Enjoy the bad tv and movies...and especially the vicodin.

[Lut C.]

When it rains, it's a class 9 hurricane!

I'm so glad you recognized the symptoms and are your way to recovery. Take care.

[ninaB]

You really really deserve to have something good happen to you. It's really been one thing after another and it's so unfair. Take care and get better.

[Alex/infertile gourmet]

Oh my that is just about enough from you....My god I am glad you are ok at least physically and hopefully emotionally. Call if you need anything.....can I have your address? :) I promise not to stalk you.

[Roni]

Holy Crap Millie, you can't catch a fucking break... I'm just so thankful that you knew to recognize the symptom and got in for the surgery right away. And at least this does take care of what you wanted to do anyway. I agree with the others - you've had enough. It's time for some of the good kharma you so hugely deserve to be coming your way. Hopefully this now puts you in a position to have an ED cycle where you not only get pregnant (since we know that happens ok), but that it stays in your freaking uterus!! I'm very hopeful that this is a corner turned.

Gotta love those drugs - hope they give you a nice, smooth recovery.

Lots of love to you and the mister
Roni

[Karen]

Oh, Millie. Thank goodness you're all right. What a scare!

[tracey]

Millie-

I'm so glad you're okay. Blood in the abdomen ? Yikes ! Take care and take vicodin.

Love,Tracey

[Wavery]

Down with tubes! Errr. Thank the misfortune of others (Susan) and the internet for letting us share for the benefit of others. I'm sorry this happened but I'm so glad you got the heads up and you got all taken care of. Now just to recover. Take it easy lady.

[Emily]

Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery!

[susie]

I am so glad you figured out what it was... and so sorry this happened to you. Thank goodness it is over for real now!

[Ornery]

Thank goodness you knew the signs and headed to the ER! I'm so relieved to hear that you are doing well. Rest up and watch as much bad TV as you can handle!

[fisher queen]

Oh Millie I am so sorry. I hope you are getting some love and TLC.

[chris]

Um, holy crap. I'm sorry about this.

Take care.

[Donna]

Holy moly! I'm so glad you knew you were in trouble and got yourself to the ER. I would never have thought that a rupture at this stage of the game could be so catastrophic. Email me if you need anything!

[Kate]

Holy hell! I hope you are ok! That is some scary shit! Drop an email if you feel up to it and need to chat about the wonders of being tubeless.

Huge hugs,
Kate

[Avonlea Spring]

Wow. I don't know what to say. You continue to amaze me - the fortitude, the attitude, finding a peace after surgery, knowing the cure of bad tv / bad movies. But fuck, enough already - it's time for rapid healing and good things!!! Hugs - I hope the recovery is swift.

[Sparkle]

Holy moses, what a nightmare, thank goodness you're alright.

Glad there's a silver lining, if you can call it that.

Take care.

[thalia]

Well thank goodness for other bloggers is all I can say. I'm so glad you are alright.

[Pamplemousse]

Oh Millie, I was thinking of you on Tuesday and thinking you would be all new and perky at your job and enjoying yourself. I cannot believe that this is happening to you. At least, now, it is surely completely over?

I wish you peace and healing and closure, my sweet friend. Let the mister and the dogs and your friends nearby look after you.

[Roni]

Millie - there's someone on the pink board who is looking to donate embryos. I tried to see whether she had a personal email address linked but I couldn't get to one. Just wanted to let you know in case you are able to jump on it somehow.
Roni

[tee-tee]

!@#$%!

i'm sorry millie...i've been thinking of you...i'm glad you are getting some good drugs out of it at least...jeeeeeeeeze...

hugs

[daisy mae]

jeez louise. when it rains it pours. just sitting around thinking of you and trying to send calming positive thoughts your way.

~daisy mae

[Anna H.]

Oh, Millie! I'm so glad you're ok. So glad.

Welcome to the Sorority of Tubeless Wonders! I'd like to think that what we lack in tubes, we make up for in... bitterness? The ability to curse with even less compunction than before? Just think, now you'll be ble to impress all your new co-workers by yodeling 'fuuuuuuuuuuuuck' at the next meeting!

Thank god you're safe and vicodined. I'm sure you're going to feel a bunch of different things about the loss of this last tube, but know that you're not alone -- you're tubeless (and tubefull) friends are sending you much love.

I know The Mister will take good care of you, but please rest up more than you think you need.

xxoo

[Liana]

I am just floored! How could you end up rupturing when the beta was so low? This defies explanation.

I'm so sorry that you went through this.

[Sue]

I can't believe it! Haven't you been through enough?!! Glad you're o.k., though. Get some rest and check in when you can.

[Aames]

Unbelieveable Millie! So glad you're OK. Happy this episode if finally behind you & you can move on to your next plan.

Rest Comfortably. You're in our thoughts.....
Aames

[Susan/holdingpattern]

Oh gawd, I am so sorry Millie. You sound okay, but I'll be it hasn't hit you yet. I am so, so, so fucking sorry you have to deal with this, and on your first day of work. ARGH! I hope that you did not lose too much blood.

Did they do a laparascopy or a full open laparotomy. Was it very scary? I am so sorry....

But I AM glad, however, that you got rid of those mother fucking tubes. Good riddance. Trust me, your life will be much better without them:
1) No more ectopics!
2) You'll no longer be the slave to the Crimson Bitch. You're in charge now. You might even lose track of when she's coming to visit, and when she does you'll be like "whatever..."
3) Sex will revert to a strictly recreational activity now... and that is a GOOD thing after years of IF treatment. Romance again!
4) You are now eligible for membership in Tau Phi Beta, the Tube Free Babes sorority. You can order a shirt!
http://holdingpattern.typepad.com/in_a_holding_pattern/2005/06/confessions_of_.html

Give me a call. Let's talk.

[Milenka]

For fuck's sake, can you not catch a break? Ugh. I hope you feel better soon, M!

[zhl]

Oh, Millie, what a shock. I'm glad that you knew what to watch out for and were able to get to the surgery in time.

How scary and sad for you. Hope your recovery is faster than the whole ectopic.

[Linda]

I am so sorry to hear that this whole ordeal has ended for you like this. I am grateful, however, that you have survived this and are alive with us. Thank god for Susan's advice!

I am also sorry to hear about your tube (tubes?) being lost in this whole process. If it's any consolation, I'm joining you on Tuesday....mine are going the way of the highway, too.

[Louise]

oh Millie! That really stinks. Big hugs,

[Jennie]

oh Millie I am so sorry you had to endure that but so very glad your ok. Look after you and watch plenty of bad tv.

[Kellie]

oh Millie I'm sorry. What crappy luck on your first day. How very scary. I'm glad your ok.

[patricia]

Oh for crying out loud. After your last post (which I just read), I guess it could have turned out worse. Here's to the lack of hysterectomy!

So sorry, and keep up the vicodin.

[MichelleL]

Oh my goodness, Millie. I was so sorry to read your news but very relieved that it all turned out okay.

Hang in there!

[redgemini]

I don't know the right thing to post, but I am sending healing thoughts your way.