mishmash tuesday

Well, the mister is back at work. Big sighs of relief all around.

His work folks were awesome. Several people (including one of the big bosses) stopped by to tell him they were thinking of him and that sometimes your personal life just had to come first, whether you wanted it to or not. One long term work friend (for many years and through a couple of companies and states) asked him out to lunch. He's thinking of telling her much more than I think he should. Now, I'm completely ok being open with our infertility struggles but I draw the line at who we discuss donor options with. I'm happy to have that conversation (more than happy in fact) with anyone who it might open the doors for in their own family building. I just 'don't want to go there' with anyone who isn't thinking about some of the same things we are.

We talked about it and of course he sees things my way. I think he got sucked into thinking this friend could be a good source of support for him. While I think that may be true, I think it would be sooooo much harder having to explain everything to someone who hasn't even begun ttc. I think he's hankering for someone to talk to who really gets it and is in the same place he is right now. Unfortunately, he doesn't know anyone who fits this bill and feels way too uncomfortable talking on the phone to the one guy who does get it.

Anyway things are still on the upswing here at the Millies.

I've been so very good the last couple of days. I reupped at W8 Watchers. I strong-armed a friend into doing the same. She also had a failed SA donor cycle (just before mine) and wants to focus on all those things that are good for you (losing weight/eating well/exercising/etc). It is so much easier to do this with a friend. And so very good to spend some time with her and vent about all this shit.

So I'm staying within my points and getting lots of exercise. I'm even going to the gym on a regular basis. Yay me!

As if that weren't enough, I think I might have a job possibility. Something just literally fell into my lap. It's at a place where I did a number of consulting projects and already know the ropes. It's a long term contract (6-12 months) and seems like it will be interesting work. The nice part about this place is you don't have to actually work that hard there. It's incredibly bureaucratic and very slow moving--so much so that I made the mister promise to have me committed if I ever thought about taking a full-time job there.
It was so difficult for me to work with this group back in my start up days. They moved so very slowly. They held way too many meetings with way too many people in them. It was all about consensus and no one could make decisions. It was so frustrating for me back then because I was used to working with very cool companies, doing very cool things that were cutting edge and oh-so-sexy. Anyway all those things don't sound so bad right now.  I think lots of boring meetings and some boring travel with fairly good pay is just what the doctor ordered. At least it wouldn't be a huge step back for me (like a lot of other positions I've been looking at would be) and the timing is pretty damn good.

I had a phone interview today and should be going in to meet with some of the rest of the team later this week or early next week. Wish me luck. I guess I need to pull those business casual clothes out of mothballs and remember how to work.

Comments

[Anna H.]

I love it that things are on the upswing -- you are a strong, strong woman, Millie.

I'm reading your post while sitting at work eating cheetos, of all things, because I had a craving, dammit! But the fact that you're doing everything you can to get it together is inspiring me.

I hear you on the mister feeling low and lonely. I totally understand. He sounds like a sensitive soul...

Thinking of you two.

xxoo

[chris]

The new job sounds wonderful. Good for you.

[daisy mae]

ooohh - sounds like a job where you could get paid to surf the web all day??? i want one of those. where do i sign up???

[Sue]

"I'm happy to have that conversation (more than happy in fact) with anyone who it might open the doors for in their own family building. I just 'don't want to go there' with anyone who isn't thinking about some of the same things we are."

Thank you for this. I've been struggling with who to tell about the donor egg/IVF thing, myself. I've told one girlfriend (since we were 13), who is almost 42, never married. I just don't think I want to tell anyone else. I just need to get over feeling like a big fake.

Glad things are looking brighter, Mil.

[Ornery]

Good luck with the job prospect! I'm so happy to hear that you and the mister are feeling better.

[Emily]

Glad that things are moving in the right direction.

xo,

[Pamplemousse]

Good luck with the new job! I wish I could forget how to work haha.

[wessel]

Happy to hear things are looking up. Wishing you all those things you wish for yourself! :-)

[Bonnie]

Good luck with the new job. Glad to hear things are turning up a little bit.

[amygrrl]

so glad to hear that things are picking up. i feel for you with the mr and his lack of a real support system, outside of you of course. d had the same issue when we lost avery and it was so tough on him. he had no friends of his own who had gone through the whole TTC thing and certainly noone who had lost a child.

and on the job front, call me if you want some help. you know i've got the hook up at a ton of places!

[Sparkle]

Totally agree on being too open re: donor eggs. I think at this stage it's something you should only talk about with people making the same decisions (that's what I've found). Can your mister talk to your friends partners?
Good luck with your job, this sounds like the ideal environment for you.

[Roni]

Millie - just happy that you are feeling better and that your mister is starting the climb back up as well. The job sounds great - interesting how things like this happen when we most need it.

Roni

[Fran]

Aw Millie, you didn't have to strong arm me to get me there, but the strong arming did come into play in sticking around that boring setup session - lol.

Anywoo, I am looking forward to Sunday's venting session and hopefully some lost pounds for both of us. (although I did cheat some in Monteray!!)

Take care sweetie.

xox, Fran

[Avonlea]

Millie,

I wish I was the friend doing WW and gyming it up w/ you. I've stuck to my SB with no cheating - lost 3 lbs because not exercising - too busy and feeling sick, will keep with it.

But you are inspiring me, so I'll be working out soon. I'm so happy the pieces are coming back together, and I hope the job situation turns out just as you wish.

[Donna]

Any news on the new job? Or on travelling back to SA?

[JennaM]

Wow. You are incredible, Millie.

Wishing you all good things... and soon!

[thalia]

You sound like you're doing amazingly well. I'm so very proud of you! And for your mister for knowing that he needs to talk to someone, even if he hasn't quite figured out who. I hope the job thing pans out.

[Red Headed Momma]

You sound so positive. You're my hero! And good news about the job - ka-ching!

Can I be a nag and say...YOGA! I've just recently started to get back into it and I forgot how awesome yoga is.

[elana]

hi! good luck with the job stuff. good to hear that things are looking up in a few areas.

[Sue]

thinking of you...