You like potato and I like potahto

Since things are going so well with the momster in law at this point in time, I figured why not play an oldie but a goodie.

The Lullaby of the Sweet Potatoes

This is dedicated to all who have suffered through a painful holiday meal.

The first time I went to the Mister's family of origin for a holiday it was over Christmas. We foolishly decided to fly east and visit my folks in the Tarheel State and his in the Keystone state--driving betwixt the two. We ended up driving 1800 miles that trip.

His dad, the Arrogant Professor, made a comment that he really wanted sweet potatoes and was upset that his wife wasn't making them that year. I foolishly FOOLISHLY offered to make him some. Oh, he was so very grateful. He said he'd go to the store and get me whatever I needed. He thanked me profusely.

When the time came for actually going to the store, he backed out. Get a clue, Millie, right? You all know this isn't going to end well but I was still in the 'trying to make a good impression' stage so I said "No problem, Mr M will take me and you don't need to worry."

When I started cooking the MIL-to-be from hell SAID it was a fine time for me to be in her kitchen but she really didn't mean it. She didn't want me making sweet potatoes. She didn't want to lose any control at all but only showed this in an extremely passive aggressive manner.

Now, y'all know I'm from the South and you probably know what that means when it comes to making a dish. See, my reciped served 4 and we were having 12 for dinner so I doubled it. We tend to be generous with all things and certainly want to make enough food. That turned out to be a big mistake.

Also, being from the South I use a lot of butter and sugar in my sweet potato casserole. NO marshmallows of course but lots of brown sugar, eggs and butter. It's more of a sweet potato souffle or custard. It's really, really good.

When dinner time rolled around I received more than my fair share of back-handed compliments. "Oh, Millie, that is so good but really more of a dessert wouldn't you say?" "Wow, that sure is sweet." "Millie, you sure are generous. We're going to have this dish to enjoy for quite a long time. There's just sooooo much of it."

Not one single thank-you escaped from their mouths. Remember, I didn't want to make stupid sweet potatoes I was just trying to appease the Arrogant Professor.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving two years later. Mr. M and I had wised up and decided to alternate visits with the 'rents. We also decided that every other year we would go back east for both major holidays and not travel at all in the off years.(Well, not travel to family but take some REALLY fun trips instead).

We're just relaxing and enjoying our day. MIL from hell is in the kitchen. I walk in to get a glass of ice water. She growls at me. Ok, not really but she used a really low voice. Low and threatening.

"Millie, you know that the Mr's cousin is coming for dinner. Just so you know,we're having mashed potatoes because that's what her family has for Thankgiving. We're not having YOUR sweet potatoes, just her mashed ones. Because, well, SHE'S family and YOU'RE not so she gets what she wants."

Yup. That was the first ambush. The first of many. Boy, she put me in my place. She also made me very, VERY thankful that my sweetheart of a husband was her third born and more than a little neglected. That's my only explanation for why the rest of the family is so crazy.

Hope y'all enjoy your sweet potatoes...or mashed. I know what I'll be getting.

Comments

[Ann (AusMarchBride)]

Monster-n-law deserves to have her mashed potatoes tipped over her head. What a rude rude rude cow.

Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving this year, preferably far away from MIL.

Ann

[Emily]

What a crazy bitch. My answer would be to never, ever see her again. You're too nice. I wouldn't be able to help myself either. Passive aggressive I wouldn't be either, but calling her a nasty bitch to her face is more like it. Uggh!

Happy Thanksgiving.

[Liana]

I agree that you are too nice. Had that heifer said something like that to me, I would have gone all scaryblackwoman on her, starting with my infamous, "First of all..." (My husband has learned that when I begin with "first of all," he should run like hell for cover.

Sometimes we confuse politeness with accepting disrespect.

[Bonnie]

Crazy psycho mother-in-law! Sheesh!

[wessel]

Oh. My. G-d. Millie, THAT is a classic. I mean, really, a classic dysfunctional family/evil mil scenario. Are you going to use that in a book someday? Because if not, I'd like to have the rights to it, if you don't mind.

I am also from the south and I know just exactly how you make your sweet potatoes, and how much you make! There is nothing more horrifying for a southern hostess than to run out of food at the dinner table. I hate the backhanded compliments/insults you got. I guess the old hag worried they'd gone a little easy on you last time and wanted to make sure you were good and 'dissed this time around. That ambush in the kitchen was just TOO much. Golly.

What ASSES they are. You should be extra specially sweet to your poor man -- think what it would be like to grow up with those people. He probably thinks you are a complete jewel (and you are).

AAAGH. AAAGH. Choking over here.

Oh, but before I leave, just a quick story. Went to a shabbat meal at some people's home last year--now, usually Jews make lots of food, too, right? But the wife wasn't raised Jewish (which is fine, not a crime or anything) and she was from a country (I'm not telling which one because I don't want to get flamed) which is apparently not known for its cuisine or its hostessing customs. Anyway, there were 8 guests, 5 of which were grown males, and this woman cooked ONE whole chicken, cut up. ONE chicken, and a small one at that. I kid you not. I was horrified. Could I take a thigh? Or would that be too much? Should I satisfy myself on a wing? All the side dishes came out in dishes the size of cereal bowls! My poor husband and I just didn't know what to do. We took teaspoon size portions. And just for anyone who is wondering--no, they are NOT poor, not by a long shot. We scrambled home and ran straight for the cupboards--we were starving.

LOVE southern hostesses and Jewish hostesses. They are the best!

[chris]

We always have both sweet and regular. And we NEVER used marshmallows. But we do have pecans and brown sugar on the top. In fact, I'm going to have some leftovers for breakfast.

When you get bored, tell us more stories about her. She sounds deliciously crazy.

[nina]

Horrors!
What an awful woman. Your sweet potatoes sound absolutely delicious. Come cook for me! I'm so glad my MIL is v.v. good to me.

[T]

Please, please tell me you told her that the cousin deserves whatever she wants for being part of that family. OR, if you're going to abide monster in law's cooking you may as well sit back and choke down the potatoes as well. Or maybe "why do you think I'm drinking so much?" What did you say??

[thalia]

Oh I always cook WAAY too much. And so does my husband even though he's not jewish. Or southern. When we volunteered to make passion fruit syllabub for my brother's birthday this year, H took the recipe, which was to serve 8, and quadrupled it, even though there were going to be a maximum of 20 people there, because he didn't want to do too little. We had ACRES of the stuff.

Your MIL sounds like a real pain in the proverbial. I suggest some kind of revenge strategy is in order. Can't think of anything right now but I'll ponder it and get back to you.

[Pamplemousse]

M, your revenge strategy will be when you have her grandchild and hold out on holidays! Hope you have a good holiday weekend anyway!

[mm]

Being from the south and a huge family, I always make about 8 times too much of everything (and usually end up eating 8 times too much, too). That MIL of yours sounds like a nutjob. Hope you spent Thanksgiving far, far away from her and her mashed potatoes.

[fisher queen]

Hey y'all. I probably would have quadrupled the recipe, just in case. Really.

Your MIL sounds truly horrid!

[Avonlea f/k/a InSpring]

Wow, that is the one of the worse MIL stories I've ever heard.

I love sweet sweet potatoes and don't believe in marshmellows. But I bet they're only half as sweet as you.

[Lynnette]

OMG. I have a sweet potato-MIL story, too! After I catch up on my blogs, I'll write about it.

[pocket]

beasts, i tell you! i am sure your sweet potatoes are divine as i havent' ever had something you've cooked that isn't. i had a fight with SIL at spanksgiving. it sucked.

[Fran]

Wow Millie! Sounds like you had a doozy of a trip! Your MIL sounds like a piece of work (to put it politely)... BTW, your sweet potato recipe sounds like my own - yum, yum! I hope we quit playing phone tag soon!

xo,

Fran