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Saturday, 22 October 2005


I know that look very well. I see it every time some treatment fails and he has to console me even though he is feeling his own pain. It's such a horrible, agonising experience and I hate it.

As for the Child Bores, I cannot stand it. So many people with kids cease to be adults once the children arrive. I have told The Dude repeatedly, if that is me, he has every right to lock me in a windowless room until I atone for my crimes against infertiles.

I'm so sorry you had to see that look in your husband's eyes. I hope your recent good news leads to you never having to see that look again.

I'm so sorry, Millie. Sometimes it is easier to bear that pain ourselves than to see the toll it takes on the people we love.

I, too, am hoping that your plans will bring a happy end to this, and soon.

I am not sure if it is the hormones or the drugs they give in the hospital but something sure happens to highly intelligent women who normally would be able to talk your ear off any subject under the sun. It must feel a million times worse when it is a support group where you should be able to feel safe.

I know that you are happy for them but maybe you need to step back from them. I don't know. In a few months, you could be in an entirely different emotional place (I so, so hope!!).

I am just sorry that both you and your hub had to experience all that pain yet again.

That pregnesia crap really blows. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.

I'm sorry sweetie. 'A' and I have that same escape hatch routine. I have seen that look in his eyes too and it crushes me. In fact it's what makes all this that much harder to take.

I'm hoping there will be another look in both your eyes soon -- the one of pure joy after your visit to Cape Town.


Oh yeah. Pregnancy amnesia. It sucks when it happens.

Crossing fingers, toes, whatever, hoping you get your turn soon.

I am so sorry you and the Mr. had to go through that. It's really hard when everyone else has gone ahead and you are still waiting for your turn. You would think that having been where you are they would be super-sensitive to the situation and you wouldn't have to be put on the spot to renegotiate the no-babies thing every other meeting.

I've seen that crushed look in my husband's eyes, and it just breaks my heart.

Hang in there,Millie. Maybe it's time to take a break from the support group for a little bit.

Millie, it sounds like a tough day. I'm so sorry that you and the mister had to go through that. How does he cope with his pain? Does he talk about it? Mine manages not to be sad a lot of the time because he's so damn optimistic. But sometimes he says something and I see how sad he really is, and it kills me.

Hoping that you've managed to restore some balance.

Oh Millie, what a heartbreaking kind of day. I am so sorry you and the mister had to deal with all of that. I truly hope that your trip to CT brings so much joy for you both.

I think that you and I are sharing emotional cycles right now. I'm sorry. If you are in a similar situation again, just leave, dammit!

Wow how awful, I just knew where this story was going right from the beginning.
I think I agree with Pamplemousse that it might be wise to step back and leave it to them for a while. It sounds like they're wanting to change the charter to a parents support group...

I have to agree... seeing my usually upbeat, hyper positive husband sad just breaks my heart. He always seems to be able to hold it together whenever I'm sobbing, so when he breaks down, I don't know what to do.

I'm a bit appalled that your "support" group finds it appropriate to single you out just when you're in most need of supporting. I hope they come to their senses soon. If they don't or you feel like you can't deal with their insensitivity, taking a step back as Pamplemousse and Ace suggested may not be such a bad idea.

oh sweetie. that has to suck. i can only imagine that if it feels anything like the way d and i felt when everyone who was due when avery was started having their babies then it must be horrible. and the worst is the complaining. when i hear my friends who know what happened say things like 'wait until you see how hard it is getting no sleep and being up all night with a baby' i want to scream 'wait until you see how hard it is getting no sleep and being up all night holding your dead baby'

Awful, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I agree with the child bores sentiments - SO frustrating - why do you lose the rest of your life once you have a child? One of my friends has turned into a child bore - so I think it really depends on the person. I hope anyway.

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