make a new plan, stan

So here's the deal:

I just had my last shot of stims!!!! Hooray! I'll trigger tomorrow night and since I'm going to such a wacky clinic that means a shot in the arm. Yup, you read that right. My current clinic believes in giving the trigger shot im in the upper arm. Go figure! My first clinic wanted it subcutaneously, my second one wanted it the traditional hind quarters and this one wants the arm. Maybe it will prove lucky?

Yesterday I had two nice looking follies at 16 mm each and if I were in my right mind I might be asking to convert to iui. They're both on my good (still have a tube) side. But, obviously, I'm far from my right mind. I am, however, trying to say over and over 'it just takes one' but we really know better, don't we?

Damn, I can't think straight these days much less write straight. Where was I? Oh, yeah, trigger Thursday night and retrieval Saturday morning. Then IF there is a transfer it will be on Tuesday.

(Did everyone notice the big IF??? That's what they like to call foreshadowing. Heh.)

The big if has to do with my still very pitiful lining. Yup. Days and days of Viagra have done nothing except make me cranky. And I do mean nothing. No fun side effects. The mister was oh-so-hopeful. Now he knows to just stay the fuck away.

So the good Dr. SheRe is still talking about freezing what we get if my lining isn't at least 9 by the day after retrieval. I know the numbers are not nearly as good in frozen cycles as fresh. I'm not stoked about that but really want to have a decent lining so there will be one less thing to blame. I suppose we could even do another round of stims and have a few more to transfer. Although if we do more stims there's no freakin' way I'm doing more than 4 amps a day. I got 3-4 follies on that which if you do the math is roughly double what I got on 10 amps. We tried high dose and it didn't do much for me.

I'm just ready for this to be over. I'm getting daily headaches and that just isn't fun. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being sooooo exhausted. I'm tired of sticking viagra up me. I'm tired of driving to and from our lovely capitol city. I know it will be over soon. I've only got a few more days of this crap.

A lot of folks are taking a break or leaving the blog world and that makes me sad too. Other people are writing about that much more eloquently than I possibly could at this point. Check out  what Suz and Chris are saying if you haven't already. I'm so gonna miss Emily, Wessel, Soper, Moogielou and Jen of the Vintage Uterus. I know how important it can be to take a break but I also know how very much I'm going to miss each of them.

Oh, and one more thing. If you are feelilng frumpy and bloated and want to do something nice and pampering for yourself so you feel like an actual woman and not just a pincushion in the middle of an ivf cycle, don't get your brows and lips waxed. Choose a manicure, pedicure, massage, anything but waxing. I learned this the hard way yesterday. I know have a huge burn underneath one eyebrow--it's all red and looks like it might scab over. Let me make this even easier for the google folks "ivf stims waxing brows/lips pain possible scarring=Don't do it."

Now, on top of everything else I have to go for that Veronica Lake look and that is sooooooo not my look. Perhaps I should try a rakish pirate patch instead?

Comments

[chris]

Hmmm. I'd go with the pirate patch.

Sorry about the lining, but it isn't over until it's over. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world.

Take care.

[InSpring]

Try some vitamin K cream or something called Tend Skin for that waxing rash. What about big Jackie O sun glasses to hide it? They're coming back.

I'm sorry this is such a tough cycle on you. I'm thinking about you daily. I have the feeling - don't know why, that you're in very good hands at this clinic. I believe you're going to make it, I really do.

[Suz]

Happy trigger, Millie. And yeah, the upper arm, I've never heard of that either.