So, tomorrow morning I get to haul myself out of bed at the crack of dawn and head to my local radiology department where I get to wait and wait until they can fit me in. I suppose that technically 8:30 isn't exactly the crack of dawn, but, as you've probably guessed by now, I'm not exactly a morning person.
I think I forgot to mention this here. Do not let it be said that Denial is just some river in Egypt. I personally find it to be a very beneficial defensive mechanism. Actually it's one of my top 3 or 4 (you just can't beat a good Intellectualization and who doesn't like a little Sublimation, but I digress---see, all that time in grad school really paid off).
I had a mammogram done a few weeks ago due to some discomfort in my breast and my impending 40th and then got a scary follow-up letter last week saying I need an ultrasound. Pronto. There was something on the right side they couldn't determine from the mammogram. So, I called up my local breast health center and they suggested I come in June 6th.
That didn't sit too well with me. Luckily, the radiology department can fit me in tomorrow but I have to be willing to wait. No problem here. I'll take a book or two to pass the time. And try hard not to freak out.
Everyone keeps telling me that because I'm feeling pain in my breast that's a 'good sign' because 'cancer doesn't hurt.' Um, how can pain ever be a good thing?
At least this is keeping my mind off my current cycle and heavy drug cocktail. That's something, right?
UPDATE
I just got back from the ultrasound. First, y'all are so very sweet. Thank you so much for your support and kind words. Seriously.
The good news is there is much good news. Absolutely, positively nothing to worry about. The tech saw nothing except lumpy and bumpy breasts. No cysts. No nodules. No lumps. Just breasts. I'm sure the lovely cocktail I'm on is not exactly helping the situation with the discomfort but there is nothing to be concerned about. Here I was all willing to take Wessel up on her bet but there's nothing at all. Whew!!!
I do have something funny to share with y'all at least. The woman who checked me in was a bit of a sourpuss. Ok, she was totally a sourpuss. I tried to be friendly, joked a little about my name. Nothing. Nada. I figured she was hopeless.
Then when she was looking at the insurance card, she asked about the mister's company and wondered what they did. Now, not to brag too much or anything but like all good wives I'm very proud of my husband. And he's got a pretty cool job to boot. He makes things that I think add a lot of enjoyment to people's lives. Kids are always impressed. 40-something sourpusses at radiology departments are usually not.
But this one was. She's started smiling and chatting and telling me all about her experiences and how much she loved what he did. She went on and on and on. It was very cool. She had a great smile. I'm so glad I got to see it.
When I called the mister with the good news I had to thank him for his job. At least I get to be a little cool, if only by association.
Oh Millie, the fun never stops, does it? I hope that things go well with the mammogram tomorrow and that it is nothing serious.
I am reading the Ninth Life of Louis Drax and the Jane Austen Book Club right now and I can recommend both.
Posted by: Pamplemousse | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 03:56
Millie, the exact same thing happened to me. Abnormal mammogram, painful breast lump, off to the u/s machine room. I will bet you $100 that you have a breast cyst. Given Sher's let's-overdose-you medical protocols, I'm willing to bet that all that estrogen and progesterone swirling around in your system is giving rise to a nice, plump, annoying cyst. Sigh. I had mine drained in the doctor's office--very easy procedure, actually painless, and I felt immediately relieved. That pleasurable sensation cost me $300 though. Yikes.
Take care and keep us posted.
Posted by: wessel | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 06:18
I'm so sorry, Millie, and hope that all comes out okay.
Posted by: Suz | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 06:27
I hope all goes well today, Millie.
Posted by: nina | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 07:12
Oh My...
Thinking of you. We will catch up tomorrow. Hang in there, I'm betting everything that all is ok.
xo
Posted by: TSF | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 09:31
Miliie, I am so pleased about your update. You can exhale just a little now!
Posted by: Pamplemousse | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 13:41
Glad to hear that all is well. How are you doing? I'm bloated as hell. I have gained 6 pounds since starting on Tuesday!
Posted by: Liana | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 13:44
That's fantastic!!! I was worried about you all day. Given that you got great news and made a sourpuss smile, I'd say that you had a fantastic one.
Posted by: Suz | Friday, 06 May 2005 at 18:56