You don't really want to hear my weak excuses for not blogging, do you?
Yeah, me neither.
I've spent much of the last couple of weeks working or working on stuff for my volunteer organization. See this month is Training Blitz and I foolishly decided to offer a three hour training on the software I foolishly decided to implement pro bono for my group and a group we're spinning off. Because I have so much free time.
It takes a long time to develop a good training. It takes a lot of effort to deliver said training. And since I was really really foolish, I had to go back and revise the training for the second round near the end of the month. Oh and start to have implementation meetings.
So my weekends haven't been very different from my weekdays. I just don't get paid for the long hours on the weekend part. I am pretty passionate about my volunteer group and I'm actually incredibly passionate about this software in a horribly geeky way.
Imagine my surprise when an old friend (the same one who talked me into my stint at that yodeling place, btw) contacted me in the middle of all this and asked if I would be interested in a job. Like, a real job as an FTE and all (that's full time employee for you non-consultant types).
I think I've been on record for more than 5 years as saying I never wanted to be an FTE again. No how. No way. Nopes.
But then he started in with his pitch and it's a very good pitch. It would be for that company I'm so passionate about. It would be strategic and somewhat senior and I would have an incredible amount of autonomy. It would be using a variety of my skills in a really cool way. And it would involve a great deal of money and stock that is actually worth something.
So this weekend I spent even more time updating my resume. But clearly I'm torn. I love the flexibility of consulting. I have more than enough work coming my way. Lately I haven't had strategic positions, though, and I'm tired of the nitty gritty.
It's much more than that, though. The mister and I decided many years ago that one of us would stay home when we had kids. At least through preschool. The one of us that has five years post-graduate education in developmental and child clinical psychology seemed like the best fit (that would be me) but that's not a done deal. We both feel very strongly about our kids not being in full time day care. This in no way reflects on decisions anyone else has made so please don't take it that way. It's just what we want for our family. We are incredibly lucky to be living in the Bay Area and even have that choice.
And truth be told, this all plays a big role in why I haven't been interested in any FTE gigs. If I commit to a full time gig then I see that as a real commitment, for at least a year or two. How can I make that commitment right now? Who knows what will happen with our family? Once our profile is complete (still in the works) it could happen that week or two years later. It's just so nebulous.
Now if this gig does turn into an offer and it's as dreamy as it sounds then I'll be even more conflicted. This company is very open to part time and flex solutions so that would be an option. We could probably even work something where I work 3-4 days a week and the mister does the same and someone is home with our very theoretical kid(s) most of the time.
Really that's what it all comes down to: how much do I let a very theoretical baby influence this decision?
Oh and my friend who's making the pitch is one of us so he does get that. He also remembers my first day at work at that yodeling place, back when I thought the ectopic was under control but it unexpectedly ruptured anyway and the mister had to call him and say I wasn't coming back on Day 2. So I really want to be firm about any commitment that I do make.
