Tonight I left the hospital. Well, Tall Girl and I left but the mister, baby boy and Sydney are all still there. This isn't how it was supposed to go.
Baby boy has an infection. We don't know what, we dont know how serious it is, we don't know much. The hospital is taking it really seriously (which is great). He's won't be discharged for at least another week. It might be more like 2.5 weeks.
Adoption is hard. Adoption with a c-section and possible disruption by biodad who has been absent for 5 months is really hard. But adoption with all that and a sick baby? OMFG.
I know they're being overly cautious and I appreciate it. Baby boy is doing well on most fronts: he's eating, peeing, pooping, regulating his own temperature and looking incredibly adorable. But he likely has pneumonia and perhaps meningitis and we just don't know enough.
Yesterday was incredibly hard emotional day. Really really hard.
The mister and I hate the idea of Sydney signing papers so early and doing it in the hospital. Hospital signings, however, are common here. And our lawyer, Sydney's lawyer and most importantly Sydney were very concerned about the biodad so she wanted to sign yesterday.
"We support Sydney, whatever she chooses." That's our mantra, even when it goes against every fiber of our being. We respect her and honor her choices.
She is incredibly selfless and she chose to place her son with us yesterday, knowing it would make the placement go more smoothly because timing might matter tremendously here.
So her lawyer and midwife and mom supported her and spent a lot of time with her. Her story is just that so I'm not going to share much but there were lots of tears all over the maternity floor yesterday. No one can ever question how much she loves this baby and how much she is doing this for him. I am more and more in awe of her every day.
So yesterday sucked big time and today was even worse.
Today was the ped explaining why they needed to do a spinal tap on this tiny baby and why he might need to be in the hospital for 3 weeks. And to stand with his grandma watching through the nursery window while they tried six times to get the fluid from his tiny back. Six times. SIX TIMES.
Then they have up for today. They'll try again tomorrow or the next day. They're doing all they can. Now it's up to the mister and I to decide if baby boy is getting the best care here or we need to move him to a hospital with a NICU. I have no idea how to even know what he needs at this point. Would it be better to move him now, before he's really sick? Or hope he'll just get better with this treatment? If we have to move him to PDX for that kind of treatment should we just take him home where we have more NICU options than almost anywhere in the country?
All I wanna do is spend this glorious time with my newly expanded family. We're all supposed to be hanging at the cushy house marveling at our boy. Instead I get to type this while Tall Girl sleeps upstairs from me and the mister, baby boy and Sydney are 20 minutes away and Sydney's mom is even further and forced with needed to leave her daughter and grandson in few short days.