Out, damned egg! Out I say!

Playing a little catchup

Well this Monday was easy-peasy as far as Mondays go. Or at least as far as they go lately.

Has it really been two weeks since I last posted? Bad millie. BAD MILLIE.

I suppose a lot has happened (and nothing much) in the last two weeks. We had a couple of frustrating calls with our consultant. We had a really nice meeting with her assistant. I think that was last Monday but my brain is a big foggy.

Thank for all the great comments and even greater support. I feel like a broken record but it really does mean a great deal.

We're still not thrilled with our consultant. We're pretty sure she's not thrilled with us. But we have found a way for it to work, for at least the foreseeable future. Her assistant is a total love and gets us. And gets why we're so upset about all of this. She gave us some very concrete ways of dealing with all of this and offered to run interference as much as she can. We met with her for a couple of hours in the middle of the day last week (um, can you say "work from home'?) and it was just such a relief. We've missed seeing her and she's missed us. It's awfully nice to be missed.

She hooked us up with the most amazing adoption site web designer and we're going gangbusters on our web site. We'd hoped to get it done for free by a friend but that's been dragging on for a bit. I think it will be done in another 2 weeks. We already have the domain and the 800 number so this is the last piece. We also got very specific feedback about which sites to link to and which to avoid/not bother with. This will be great because we do have some folks in other states looking out for us and it will be so awesome to just send them to the site.

Last week we went to a drop-in monthly support group for waiting families that our local infertility/adoption group is sponsoring. It was actually GREAT. I think both the mister and I were a bit surprised at how much we both got out of it because lately our attitude has been more along the lines of "why do I want to meet a bunch of other people that are gonna get their kids before us".  It helped tremendously that the lovely luna and her fine man were there. There was another couple who'd been waiting about the same time as us (also domestic), one lone couple doing international (and I felt so bad for them that no one else could commiserate and they're in the whole "our country closed" horrible space) and one couple that had just had a rough patch. Both of the facilitators were adoptive moms and one was a therapist. It really was a great group. We're looking forward to meeting again or getting another more structured group going.

One thing that was so clear from the other group members was the general lack of support most people feel. The blogosphere has been such an amazing source of comfort, support and friendship to me that I want EVERYONE to have something like that and that just doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe luna and I will convince everyone to hang out a shingle.

So all the adoption stuff just feels better.

Oh there was an icky part to this Monday. I guess I blanked it out. I had 11 vials of blood drawn. 11. And not a Spinal Tap sort of 11. I had my regular thyroid stuff, annual physical stuff and, just for kicks, infections disease bloodwork as well. It's nearly my birthday and that's how I like to celebrate. For those of you playing along at home, this is the SIXTH straight set of infectious disease blood-work I've had done. Six years of blood-work and no baby yet. I wonder if my lab will through in the 7th for being such a frequent flayer.

The lab was pretty slow today and there were too many idiots like me who decided to take care of everything on a Monday morning. Did I mention it was fasting blood-work? I nearly fainted. Good times.

Then the mister and I went and test drove a couple of cars. We weren't going to buy a car until January but I found out over the weekend there is a certain Zoom Zoom car company that makes a hybrid only available HERE. With a full tax credit. And heated leather seats.

So we tried the zoomy car and we also drove the Sub@ru F0r3ster that we thought we were likely to buy. They are very very similar and we're trying to decide. If you internets have any opinions, bring 'em on. Our goal is to fit one baby, two dogs and a stroller in something. As my love friend from Arkansas pointed out, we might end up with twins. In which case we won't leave the house for several years and the dogs will never get walked again.

Best news of all: THREE DAYS OF WORK LEFT!!!!!! I'm soooooo very excited. And sooooo very done. We're heading north to the lovely SeaTac airport (and surrounding environs) to visit many friends (hoping to see Ms Emily/Scrambled Eggs and perhaps Ms Michele during that time but I've been too busy to email them so perhaps they'll read this). Then we'll be living on the lovely Russian River in NorCal for a month of resting, reading, hot tubbing, dog walking, drinking, biking, yogaing, and napping.

What is it with Mondays?

It seems like it's the same song second verse. This time I'm far less happy about the situation.

The mister and I left town on Friday to go camping (for the first time in 2 years). There was an email from our consultant announcing a situation, for anyone who was interested. We called the consultant within minutes of the email but no answer. Oh and she doesn't have a cell phone so don't even think about that. We called her assistant. We sent emails to both but did not hear back while we were in cell range. We left messages everywhere telling them we were very interested and please submit our profile. We'd be back Monday night but could come back earlier if necessary.

We drove to another site specifically to check emails and voicemails. Nothing.

Finally we heard back on Sunday and called back right away. We learned a bit more about the situation and that only one other family in the service was interested. We said we'd be back Monday night and were told that should be fine.

We ended up coming back a day earlier for a number of reasons but a big one was to meet this nice nearly due lady.

This morning we left messages and sent emails. No word for six hours. Then the word came and it did not make either of us happy.

The nice nearly due lady really liked the other couple and doesn't want to meet with anyone else. Apparently our consultant didn't tell her there were two couples interested. She didn't schedule anything (although she told me she had).

I totally get that she likes them and have no problem with that at all. But I'm really frustrated with our consultant. It seems like every situation is "unusual" and "just can't be predicted".  The mister called her back about something else and she said "well, you should have taken copies of your profile with you and you could have mailed one on Saturday". He asked why she didn't mail one and she said she was out of them.

OUT OF THEM???? This is the first we've heard that she's even showed our profile to anyone or sent any profiles anywhere much less that she'd given all the ones we gave her away. She gives sample profiles to couples she meet with and I'm wondering if that's what's happened to ours. She told us before that she wouldn't present us without asking first and she's never asked. Now she can't even give us a straight answer about those profiles.

Lately every interaction with her has been frustrating at best. We ask what we could do differently and she doesn't have any answer. We ask ourselves what we'd like to be different with these interactions and we don't have good answers for that either. But definitely more information and at least return calls timely and not just jerk us around. And perhaps keep track of at least whether or not she has our stupid profile.

Do we just never go out of town again? Do we just forget about the thousands of dollars we've paid her and chalk it up as knowledge gained? And if this is one of the most ethical people in adoption, heaven help us all.